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Started by Narric, September 17, 2015, 03:16:02 PM
Quote from: Mabbz on September 19, 2015, 09:22:44 AMLooks good so far, and I find it interesting that "the only cultured peoples were the Frosmery and the fiery Red Goblins". Don't like the usual human-elf-dwarf approach that most fantasy settings use, or are they just on a different continent? Besides that, there's not much for me to critique. You haven't given us all that much, and you stopped writing in an odd place. But then you did say you will be adding to this chapter for a little bit, so that probably explains it.
Quote from: Mabbz on September 19, 2015, 09:22:44 AMOn criticism I do have is with the council members. They're all kinda obvious stereotypes; the fat merchant, the old, thin judge, the kind healer lady. The War councilor is more original though, and since we haven't seen them do or say much yet there is still the option of fleshing them out a bit more. As it is though it looks like the stereotypical council of elders, out of touch with the realities of the world. Not necessarily a bad thing, as stereotypes become stereotypes by being used a lot, and they get used a lot because they are effective storytelling tropes. But if you want to use them a lot in the story, you'll have to give them more depth.
Quote from: BigToof on September 20, 2015, 09:57:20 PMHmm, this is very interesting and I want to see where this is going to go...Question though, I'm not familiar with the setting. Is this a homebrew or something established?Best,-BT
Quote from: BigToof on October 27, 2018, 11:18:33 AMVery nice read!Sorry to ask, but I'm not quite up to speed on the lore. Is this the 40k-verse or another?Best,-BT
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